Then John gave the testimony: "I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' I have seen and I testify that this is God's Chosen One." John 1:32-34
There are mornings when I read my Bible that I hear God's voice so clearly speaking to me. Tuesday was one of those mornings. My mind was spinning a bit, thinking about my day ahead, going over and over in my mind the conversations I was about to have with some of the most precious people I have ever known, and how it would be received. I was emotional to say the least. As I sat down, coffee in one hand, the Bible app in the other, I began to pray that I could calm down and just think of the words that God would best have me say. As I read through the first chapter of John, these verses struck me...And I knew that God was confirming, once again, that I was walking where He was leading.
There are so many circumstances in our lives where we are met with a cross road, and sometimes, making the decision of which direction to take can be almost impossible. As I walked through the last couple of weeks, I have had such mixed emotions and thoughts, often wondering if I was doing the right thing. With all of my heart, I knew that logically, it made such great sense, but I have learned not to follow my brain and my emotions on things, but to challenge them with the litmus test of God's truth and the words He speaks. Sometimes, I will admit, my choices have not always been the right ones, and as I have gotten older, I have realized that living for myself is a demise, and living for Christ is the reward. All I want to do is what God has planned to further his message through me.
The decisions we have made as a family over the last 18 months has not been received well by everyone. Some of the dearest people to us do not understand why we have chosen the path we have. It does not make sense to them, and I understand, they love us, and they want the best for us. What I have said since day one is that we are following God's desire for us. We have not understood every obstacle in the course, but with everything that I am, I have trusted that God has already gone before us. This does not mean I have had 100% perfect days, I have not, ask my friends who have listened to me countless hours, they will tell you that I have gotten weary and wanted to retreat, but I have made it through every one of those days because of God, and His mercy and grace when I want to scream that I HATE THIS! All I want to do is exemplify Christ to those we love.
The words of John, "...I did not know him,....I have seen and I testify that this is God's Chosen One." He had faith in the words he had been told, and when he saw Jesus, he told everyone who He was, the Messiah. Can you imagine the excitement John felt when He saw the fulfillment and the confirmation that the one who He served was standing right in front of him? That is how I feel. As I walk into this next chapter of my life, I want everyone to know that I recognize God, the one I have had faith in, the one I have trusted, the one I have clung to. He has fulfilled His promises to us that He would never leave us or forsake us, and that His plans for us were for our good and not our harm. He has been Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, and Jehovah Shalom, our Prince of Peace. He has been our Strong Tower and our Hiding Place, our Comforter and our Deliverer. He has been our Faithful guide, and our loving Father. He has held us in His hand and kept the enemy from plucking us. He has been all of those things and so much more. All I want to do is bring the Glory back to Him, so that His gospel reaches beyond me.
I have seen Him and I testify that this is God's Chosen One.