Wednesday, April 14, 2010


"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philipians 1:6

Most days, I can not even tell it ever happened. Most days, I carry on in this fast paced life, forgetting where I have been. Most days, I am so focused on the next scheduled activity, that I do not take the time to be thankful for my stability, ability, and mobility. And then, there are days like today.

Today, my arm was dead weight. I could not open the jar of pickles. The bucket was too heavy for me to carry. I could not turn the door knob. Today, my leg was numb. I could not feel my toes. My foot was cold. Today, my eye was blurry. I could not read the sentences in a book. I could not read the sign on the road. My eyelid was heavy, I could not see.

To focus on where I am going, I must be reminded of where I have been. To be fully used of Him, I must remember how I was healed by Him. To be healed by Him is not a miracle of my own, it is a work He preformed for His Glory. A show for the lost and saved alike, a testament of His power.

Today I remember the disease that had me bed ridden. I remember the days of uncertainty and fear. Today, I remember the doctors, the nurses, the prognosis, the death sentence....but most of all, I remember the feeling of His arms around me. I remember the words of the doctor, "It's gone, I have no other explanation, is that good enough for you"....and of the next, "Your eye is healed, I cannot tell you why".....and those very special words, "YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, IN JESUS NAME."

I have scars of my past, but I do not fear them, in fact, I welcome them. They are my constant reminder that He delivered me, and I cannot keep it to myself, there is a world to be told of the Faithfulness of our God. There is no doubt that I have been called, there is no doubt He is guiding my life, there is not doubt, and I am "Confident, that He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Monday, April 5, 2010


Genesis 12:1....The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you..."

It JUMPED off the pages!! Now, I have read the Bible before and heard the voice of the Lord, but I cannot tell you in recent history when it has touched me like it did that day in January.

Over the preceding months, I could hear my "out loud voice" saying; "Oh, yeah, I know that God is in this move! I am SURE we will be fine, I am SO EXCITED"!! And at the same time, I could hear my "inside voice", the one spoken by my heart and mind, and often, the physical pain I felt in my stomach, it was screaming, "Are you KIDDING ME? NO WAY!!!" I have two young children who are taking every cue they have about the future of our family from me. There is no doubt that I have to portray the "matriarch" role, the one of wife, mother, and ultimately, the one who is going to keep our small family of four together through this huge transition. I cannot let them see my weakness, my fear, my uncertainty. For these two precious beings, I will stay strong and confident, but in all seriousness, I don't want to go!

"God Moments" began happening all around me. This verse first showed up in the weekly Bible Study I was doing with my best friend. We had to pause the DVD and rewind, because I was SURE I had not hear it right! I of course DID hear it right, and God spoke to ME in that moment from the ancient scriptures written to Abram so long ago. How humbling to realize God was speaking to me, just as He had Abram. A few weeks later, while preparing for our Wednesday night Bible Study, this verse once again made it's appearance. There is nothing more amazing than the confirmation of God through the Holy Spirit.

As I think back to those days a few months ago, it gives me joy and hope. I am not silly enough to believe that God has promised me a nation, as He did Abram, but what I DO know, is that God is the reason we are here in California. In the Bible Study I was doing before I left home, it focused on putting ourselves where God is doing a Work, and He will open our eyes to the Will He has for us. For this, I am SO excited!

It is about God, and winning those to Him. I have come, and I am willing!....