"Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm." Mark 4:39
I use to be the kind of girl that would get anxious and worrisome about the future. I would sit and contemplate my "place" in the world, and wonder how the view I had of myself was going to fit into the plan God had for my life. This seemed for me a legitimate worry, because I was so often caught in the middle of storm after storm after storm. Many times, the only thing I could do was dream about what it "might" look like if God did in fact, decide that enough was enough, and rescue me from the waves. I look back now and see, in every situation, that God was, in fact, rescuing me every single time; and each time, for a completely different reason, and yet, all the same; to show me His power, mercy and grace when I thought for sure nothing or no one could save me.
The testimony I carry of the power of God in my life seems, some days, to be left off to the side, a mere "happenstance" and often, so common to me now, that I forget how I have gotten to where I am today. As awful as that sounds, I know that I am not the only one guilty of such a thing. Is it not easier for us to live in the "now" and not focus on the "then"? CERTAINLY!! But over the last several weeks, God has been nudging at my heart, asking me to take Him to deeper places, places that I have guarded very well. Places that have defined who I am.
It is very easy to testify to a miracle God has done that is a physical healing. Once I was healed of MS, I never really looked back. Those few years have no grip on my mind and heart because, at least I believe, it was an affliction of the enemy to wear down my body and it did not work; God won, and quite rapidly might I add. Although those days were dark, I remember very little about it, it was just a "blink" in the entirety of my life. I cannot explain exactly why I feel this way, except to say, that to testify of the healing God has done on the inside of me far outweighs what has happened on the outside.
A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of who I once was. I was reminded of the Mercy of God, His Tenderness, His Grace, His Love. I once read a quote by Maya Angelou that said: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." I think the agony may come front the fact that such a story may never be told, and if it is never told, another life may not find Truth and Freedom. My story has nothing to do with other people. While I might have been a victim of things beyond my control, the story that belongs to me is that of the rescuing power of Jesus. A power that overcomes the "effects" of those events. My story does not read like that of some, but I know that it reads like that of many; Caught in the middle of a storm, searching for a savior, anxiously and very fearfully believing that this may be the last breath that you breathe.
No storm is wasted. While the waves may be tossing us and throwing us, the fact that our heads are still above the water is proof enough that God is stronger than our circumstances. The woman I am today is in complete contrast to who I was 20 years ago. The reason is, because God, not a moment too soon and not a minute too late, got up on my behalf and cried to the wind, "...peace be still."