Do You Trust Me?

"The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God."  Daniel 6:23

Imagine being thrown into a den of hungry lions, left there to be devoured, only to be pulled out not only alive, but alive and untouched.  Daniel's deliverance from the lions is an amazing example of God following through on His promises.  God had promised that He was going to deliver the people of Israel if they obeyed His law.  Daniel took God at His word and continued to obey, despite the threats of death on his life. 

As I was recounting this story in scripture, my eyes were halted and focused on verse 10, I could not get past it-"...and he continued kneeling on his knees three times a day, praying and giving thanks before his God, as he had been doing previously."  So, after Daniel knew his sentence of death had been signed, he continued to obey God, even knowing he was about to stare death in the face.  His faith in God superseded his fear of man. 

Seems almost impossible to us, doesn't it? To have the faith to stand in the face of certain death.  To choose to obey instead of conceding to save one's life.  To stand up to the king and say his man made rules do not supersede the law of the Lord. To open the windows and pray confidently to the God who has promised to deliver his people from harm.  It can seem impossible to us because many times, we do not take the stance to hear the voice of the Lord, to recognize Him, and take Him at His word.  The stance of being on our knees, fully surrendered to His will for our lives.

Why don't we find ourselves in that stance? Is it fear? Is it distrust? Is it being too busy? Is it that we might lose control? I would say yes...to all of those and more.  Because we live in a world where authority seems to dictate to us what we do and how we act, we often limit God to those exact permitters, that if He is asking us to obey Him, then we are going to lose our rights and privileges.  While I understand where those thoughts come from, it does not give excuse for us to live our life in disobedience, always doing what we feel would be best for us, never consulting the one who actually created us! We have humanized God so much, that we see Him the same way we do our earthly rulers, when all He wants is to GIVE  to us our rights and privileges as HEIRS to His Kingdom.

Finding oneself in a modern day lions den can be terrifying. But listening to His voice, with the promise of life on the other side, far outweighs the fear.  Not long ago, I heard Him say to me, "Do you trust me?"....Of course I said, "yes"....only to hear Him say, "No, do you TRUST me?" in the calmest and most comforting way.  I felt my heart bow before Him with a tender "YES".  That is who God is, He is our Confidence in the face of fear; He is our Yes in the middle of no; He is our Strength when we are at our weakest; He is our All when we have nothing.

Do you trust Him?....NO, do you TRUST Him??......

STOP!

"They passed through the Phrygian and Galatian region, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia; and after they came to Mysia, they were trying to go into Bithynia, and the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them;" Acts 16:6-7

How many times have we felt God leading in a certain area or situation in our lives, only to be stopped dead in our tracks from going forward?  What is our reaction when this happens? I would venture to say that more times than not, our gut instinct is to think that we have done something wrong, messing up what it was we "thought" we were suppose to do.

The apostle Paul is a great example of such a thing, EXCEPT, his perception was not marred by the world, but led by the Spirit.  In Galatians 1:12, Paul says "For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ."  It is time we as Christians take our eyes off of ourselves, the people around us, our opinions, their critiques, and place ourselves solely in the hands of the Holy Spirit.  

When our family of four moved to California, the number one thing I had to do was get us connected and grounded in a good church.  In my mind was a lot of "man made" anxiety, thinking and feeling that it was in fact MY JOB to do this.  I prayed, I cried, I searched (only for about 3 days, but still...that was an eternity to this PK).  Anyway, once God planted us in our local church, I began feeling like I needed to get involved in some sort of ministry, and as a default, I went to what I knew best, singing.  Now, I started this totally out of desperation, just wanting to do something I had always done, knowing I would be comfortable behind the microphone (note the word comfortable).  I did pray about it, but to say I sought the Lord on it would be lying.  Running parallel to this was a Bible Study I had began going to, focusing on Prayer.  There were so many things taking place inside of me in the process of that Bible Study, that the voice of the Lord began to become clearer and clearer with every single day. On my last rehearsal before joining the team on a Sunday morning, I sat at the keyboard with our praise and worship pastor going over things when out of NO WHERE, I felt a shift in my spirit, looked at her and said, "STOP!! I CAN'T DO THIS! I DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS MOMENT, ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS IS NOT WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE DOING".  We both laughed at the candidness of the moment, and agreed that God was in that moment, very present. 

Within a very short time, my personal praise and worship became much more than I could have ever dreamed.  God gives us gifts and talents, but what man does with and to those is so often in contrast to His design.  My mentality was "Oh, you were born into THAT family, well, then you have to be on the stage singing".  By releasing myself from the pressures of what I thought I should be doing, and focusing on what it was GOD wanted me to do, my life took a major shift; was it comfortable? No; in fact, the journey has been one of the most difficult things I have faced, because in facing myself, I began to be stretched, refined, sharpened, (dulled when needed), BUT all with the affirming voice of the Holy Spirit leading and guiding.

We can do all the planning we want for any amount of time that we want, but if we are seeking after God, and He says "STOP", it may not be because we were doing anything wrong, it may in fact be because He has a Greater picture for us.  The Holy Spirit told Paul he was not going into Asia, but within a couple of years, according to Acts 19:10, all those who lived in Asia heard the word of the Lord. God is not ironic. We often label His works manifest as if they are ironic, but nothing about Him is coincidental or unexpected. He knew you from the beginning of time, and He has your story written. He is waiting for you to commit to going longer and deeper in your relationship with Him. He will make the path of your life known to you, In Him, there will be fullness of Joy and Pleasures Forever (Ps.16:11).

Peace Be Still

"Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm." Mark 4:39

     

     I use to be the kind of girl that would get anxious and worrisome about the future.  I would sit and contemplate my "place" in the world, and wonder how the view I had of myself was going to fit into the plan God had for my life. This seemed for me a legitimate worry, because I was so often caught in the middle of storm after storm after storm.  Many times, the only thing I could do was dream about what it "might" look like if God did in fact, decide that enough was enough, and rescue me from the waves.  I look back now and see, in every situation, that God was, in fact, rescuing me every single time; and each time, for a completely different reason, and yet, all the same; to show me His power, mercy and grace when I thought for sure nothing or no one could save me.

     The testimony I carry of the power of God in my life seems, some days, to be left off to the side, a mere "happenstance" and often, so common to me now, that I forget how I have gotten to where I am today.  As awful as that sounds, I know that I am not the only one guilty of such a thing.  Is it not easier for us to live in the "now" and not focus on the "then"? CERTAINLY!! But over the last several weeks, God has been nudging at my heart, asking me to take Him to deeper places, places that I have guarded very well. Places that have defined who I am.

     It is very easy to testify to a miracle God has done that is a physical healing.  Once I was healed of MS, I never really looked back.  Those few years have no grip on my mind and heart because, at least I believe, it was an affliction of the enemy to wear down my body and it did not work; God won, and quite rapidly might I add.  Although those days were dark, I remember very little about it, it was just a "blink" in the entirety of my life.  I cannot explain exactly why I feel this way, except to say, that to testify of the healing God has done on the inside of me far outweighs what has happened on the outside.

     A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of who I once was. I was reminded of the Mercy of God, His Tenderness, His Grace, His Love. I once read a quote by Maya Angelou that said: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."  I think the agony may come front the fact that such a story may never be told, and if it is never told, another life may not find Truth and Freedom.  My story has nothing to do with other people.  While I might have been a victim of things beyond my control, the story that belongs to me is that of the rescuing power of Jesus.  A power that overcomes the "effects" of those events.  My story does not read like that of some, but I know that it reads like that of many; Caught in the middle of a storm, searching for a savior, anxiously and very fearfully believing that this may be the last breath that you breathe.

     No storm is wasted.  While the waves may be tossing us and throwing us, the fact that our heads are still above the water is proof enough that God is stronger than our circumstances. The woman I am today is in complete contrast to who I was 20 years ago. The reason is, because God, not a moment too soon and not a minute too late, got up on my behalf and cried to the wind, "...peace be still."

      

In The Beginning GOD......

‎"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
-Ephesians 3:20-21

In the past week alone, I have been asked numerous times how exactly we landed ourselves in California. We have often been asked about this, but this weekend, it was becoming quite a topic of almost EVERY social setting we found ourselves in. On Sunday afternoon, I was asked once again....and I laughed inside. It was comical because I had been kinda "stuck" on trying to figure out why God had brought this particular topic up so many times in consecutive days...and Sunday was just a little silent conversation between God and I, Him letting me know, "I hear you, Bonnie!" I smiled on the outside because my heart was bustin on the inside. I love how God speaks to each of us with so uniquely within who He created us to be.

So, I told the sorry, sappy story all starting with, "Well, Mike was a Manager for General Motors for 12 years, and, well, you KNOW what happened to GM!!....." I'm stopping there for a very specific reason; God told me to. After I told our short story that makes everyone feel really bad for us, we went around the room and introduced ourselves to new people. Mike started by saying, "Hi, I'm Mike Mahnke, this is my wife Bonnie, and my kids, Michaela and Josiah. People ask us often how we ended up here, and our new answer is just GOD." At that moment, I could not have been more proud of my husband, and yet at the same time, so completely humiliated before my God. The beginning of that conversation between me and God not 10 minutes earlier was finished in that one word; GOD. I left that pizza place different than when I went in.

I have spent 2 years telling the story of how Mike lost his job, and we were faced with only one choice, to come across the country for a job. I have been very proud of our story, because along the way, there were so many things that God dropped in our lap to let us know that He was all over everything that was going on. These "little" things to so many people proved to us that we were being obedient, even in the midst of extreme pain and disbelief. Do you see how this is going? This is how I have described the hand of God. Do you see what I see? I didn't until Sunday, but it is worth telling everyone about.

One of my pastors recently said to me, "We only have two choices, we can either hide or we can shine." The conversation was about something completely different, but I'm reminded of it as I think about how we "hide" behind our circumstances in life, blame them on "humanity", and forget to allow the Glory of God to shine through it. It has never been my intent to hide God from what has happened to us over these last two years, and He knows that, but He felt it was time for me to change the story, to remove "us" and start with Him! I love how God reveals things just at the right time for us. I was completely convicted as soon as those words came out of Mike's mouth. I cried out to God in my spirit, acknowledging that I had done exactly what I would never think I could do, minimize God and His authority in our lives to match the society we live in. To make it palatable to people around us, we often start with all the sad, sappy parts of our lives, how we have been down and out and how we "found" God in the middle of it...my how we have lost sight of the soveirgnty of our God.

Our story starts like this; "Well, you see, God knew long before we were ever created exactly what, when, where, how and why we were going to be in the situations of the last 15 years. God walked right beside us as we trudged through medical diagnosis after medical diagnosis that would ultimately claim the lives of both Mike and I. God carried us through the muck of figuring out how we were going to care for our two beautiful kids, and He guided us as we made difficult decisions that ultimately led to a day almost three years ago that would change our lives forever."

I think of the years leading up to that day as a gift from God. I could not have said that in the midst of the pain and trauma, but today, I can see God all over it, so much bigger than the actual circumstances that engulfed us. Being on the other side of miraculous healing gives us such clearer eyes. I'm so not only talking about physical and psychological healing, but of core healing. The kind of healing that causes a person to be responsible for what they have done with the "yuck" of the world. It has truly been the most miraculous healing I have encountered. God knows this, and He celebrates it with me. Manifested healing of the body is miraculous and speaks to the greatness of our God. Manifested healing of the inner man takes that greatness we have received from Him, that is too much for us to even imagine, and places it on the deepest part of the heart. There are really no words to explain it. That is how Amazing His love, grace, and mercy is for us.

Today, I'm reminded of God. A God who is not limited to the 12 foot painting of a long haired shepard holding a lamb that was plastered at the front of my little church growing up; but a God who created the world, a God who has a plan within that creation, a God who created each of us in His image to bring Him glory. It is possible for us to take God out of the box we have put Him in. Give Him glory first.

In the beginning, GOD! That's simple. My story, Your story, All stories....IN THE BEGINNING, GOD!!!!

Believing and Cobwebs

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord" Luke 1:45

I hate cobwebs. Yes, I used the word hate, and I am pretty sure that I mean it. I have spent some of my morning removing them from my 10 foot ceilings. While I was on that ladder, reaching for the one I could barely get to, I heard this verse read on the Christian TV channel. Had anyone been here to see my reaction, I am sure it would have made for great comedy....I nearly fell off the third step!

As I finished cleaning up those cobwebs, I began to think about all of the things that life throws at us that we do not see coming. Some of the dirt on those webs were big clumps, but most of it was unseen by the naked eye. As I ran the cloth across it, I could see how thick all of those tiny particles became when put together in one place. Oh how this relates to us who have gotten caught up between what the world says we are, and what our God says that we are.

The angel Gabriel appears to Elizabeth telling not only of her child, but also her cousin Mary's child. When Mary came to her, she exhorted her friend for BELIEVING THAT WHICH GOD HAD SPOKEN OVER HER. How many times have we witnessed a word from God being spoken over us or someone we love only to be gradually overtaken by the small particles of doubt, disbelief and negligence. Can you imagine what would have happened had she focused on the first person that said, "Whatever Mary, you do not even have a husband." Instead, she believed God and found favor in His sight.

I have heard is said that many believe IN God, but few ever think about BELIEVING God. We believe that there is a God. We believe He is our creator. We believe He is our savior. We believe He is our deliverer. We believe He is our redeemer. BUT, we stop just short of believing He has found any favor in our lives. We look at people around us and are genuinely happy for the blessings God had preformed on their behalf, but because we have collected so much "invisible dirt", our view of our own lives and situations are clouded. We are not so far different than Israel of the Old Testament, Ps 106:12-13 says: "They believed his promises and sang his praise. But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his counsel." By allowing the dirt to build up in that one little cobweb, we forget the Glory God has already shown on our behalf, and move forward blinded and crippled by the screaming of the world in front of our face.

What if we returned our focus to God instead of ourselves. What if we decided we were going to get out of our comfort zone and clean those stinking cobwebs that have taken over quicker than we ever thought they could. What if we opened up our Bible to receive more of Him, not to just "prove" that what we are going through is in there. What if we became open to hear from the Holy Spirit those things which are not so pretty about ourselves in order to clean them out and make us better ministers of His word.

It takes a lot of hard work to clean cobwebs. I was a little sweaty reaching for the furthest one, and then, just when I thought I had it, I saw one more spec of dirt to be wiped away, calling me back to that uncomfortable position to clean it so well that it did not bother me tomorrow. That is what my heart is stirring over for people in the body of Christ. Taking responsibility for cleaning out the dirt we have allowed to accumulate and bringing us to a position of being able to see the purpose God called us to. Until we are ready to deal with the unseen dust, we are not truly ready to walk fully in our calling.

Keep On Keepin On!

In His Grip!

This is the Year I was Suppose to Die

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result..." Genesis 50:20

I had a REALLY cool "Candy Apple Red" walker with one of those fancy seats on it that I could use to rest when I was exhausted from walking. It also had this really big basket on the front. In a way, I felt like I was 10 years old again and I had just gotten my first pink dirt bike. See, my mom picked out my bike when I was 10....she also picked out my walker when I was 30. She said, "If you are going to have to have it, it is going to be the prettiest one there is."

Over the last couple of months, God has been requiring that I remember where I have been. During worship, I have been reminded of the mountains that were not just moved, but REMOVED. It was as if when I was looking "BACK", I could not really identify with who that girl was. I would remember things as if I were looking at a dream, or reading a novel. Often, it would play back like a movie, with credits being paid to all of those people who had helped me through the roughest points in my life up until this present moment.

Today, for the first time in 5 years, I heard the words "Devic's Disease." My heart sank, and yet, at the same time, I felt it leaping. As I listened to the story being told to me, I could hardly keep quiet. She had heard I had MS in the past, and that I did not have it any longer. She wanted to hear about the miracle God had performed on my behalf. The memories came flooding back. I recalled being paralyzed on my right side, I remembered missing my daughter's "debut" as the lead in her 1st grade program. I thought about how, for 3 weeks, I was barely able to get out of bed. I do not remember a lot about those days, but what I do remember is the pain and the absolute feeling of helplessness. On my most desperate night, I laid awake with my tiny kids on either side of me. I cried out to God, "Lord, you know what I have been through in my life. Not once have I walked away from you, not once have I denounced your presence in every situation, and God, I need to know why, why me, why these precious babies, why now?" Some people would say that we really should not ask God why, but I have to tell you, that in that moment, God said, "Wait and See."

My dad and I took the trip to The Cleveland Clinic in the Spring of 2006. We walked into the Mellon Center, and were very abruptly faced with MS in many stages. On one side, a young lady walked with a slight limp, and across the room, a man sat paralyzed with a breathing machine attached to his wheelchair. I had been told that more than likely, I had what was known as "Devic's Disease." Devic's affects the spinal cord, therefor, compromising the nervous system, leading to the shut down of involuntary necessities, the most important being that of breathing. Because Devic's attacks the nervous system so aggressively, I was told it was terminal usually within 5 years.

I pushed that walker to the front of the church. As my church family prayed for me, I continued to cry out to God, asking WHY? My uncle, the pastor of my church, called me to his seat. He said, "Bon, I felt it right there, you were healed." I thanked him ever so sweetly and headed to my seat still having to grip the walker with all my might. On my way out, my uncle again said to me, "Bonnie, listen to me, you were healed!" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Then why can't I walk, why can't I see, and WHY AM I STILL IN PAIN?" Before I had even gotten out of the church building I had questioned the power of my God.

It took an entire year to walk out my healing. Very gradually, the pain started to leave, the vision came back, and my balance got better. It was not until I had visited BOTH of my neurologists who came back with "Healing" reports that I totally walked in the healing God had done in my body. Sometimes, healing is an instant revelation and realization, and sometimes, it is a continuous walking out of what God has spoken over your life. I am a firm believer that God heals us in the very best way to show HIM to the world. While I did not understand then, and I certainly do not understand it all now, I do know that what the enemy thought might be the very last thing to make me fall was the VERY thing to catapult me for the cause of Christ.

People can speculate, people can judge. When moving from Woodland, I found all of the MRI's I have had done. I thought about pitching them in the attitude of "THAT IS NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE." But, I held onto them. If not for me, possibly for someone else who needs just a little more proof than I do that our God is still in the business of physically healing people given a life sentence.

I realized this afternoon that this is the year I was suppose to die. I realized this afternoon that this is the year in which I have been re-born. God does not waste anything. Everything belongs.

Shoes and Hearts

"Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united spirit intend on one purpose." Philippians 2:1-2

There is very little more damaging to one's future than what they believe of themselves. We often define ourselves by the world's standards, our looks, personality, education, hair, and come on, let's be serious, on the cutest shoes we can find to wow our girlfriends! In a world surrounded by "People Pleasing", we have lost who we have been created by God to be. Viewing ourselves through the eyes of society has become the "norm" , not only for the "world", but for Christians as well.

My girlfriend was recently commenting on some things she saw as "strengths" in me. Because she knows this has been a difficult area for me, I laughed at her and said, "Don't COMPLIMENT ME!!" (let's face it, it's hard to take praise a lot of times), she never misses a beat, she looked at me with that half-smirked smile on her face and said, "I am NOT complimenting you, I am encouraging you, there is a difference." I had to digest that for a minute, because I truly did not "get" the difference.....but I do now.

A compliment speaks to that which "WE" have control of, our hair, our clothes, and our really sweet red pumps. We all enjoy compliments, it's part of that"People Pleasing" mentality. It means our choices have been accepted by our peers, and that we are being praised for our efforts to "fit in". Compliments are not a bad thing, not at all....my girlfriends have the cutest clothes, the best hair, the prettiest jewelry AND the SWEETEST shoes, they of course know that because I never miss an opportunity to express my "acceptance" of their efforts. Women and Men alike enjoy the accolades of their buddies.

Encouragement comes from such a different place. It speaks to the desires of our hearts, who we truly want to be, and who we want people to see us as. When encouragement comes from a friend, it is wrapped in a big beautiful package and delivered with extra care and thought than a mere compliment. It means that in our life they have witnessed the attributes that would draw others to Christ. In our relationships, giving encouragement to someone is the very thing that Paul is talking about in Philippians 2:1. It is an "atta girl" to continue the calling God has placed on your life. It is taking our compliments, and placing them on the heart of the people around us. It is taking great care to edify and exhort those we are doing life with to continue on the road, even if there is persecution and sacrifice.

The word Encouragement here means to "exhort, admonish, comfort, summons" it holds in it's context the demand to continue on, even when the road gets tough and the light has dimmed in the distance. It is a very personal way for Christians to take part in each others lives as we together continue on in this life for Christ.

Give a compliment when you love her shoes; Give encouragement when you love her heart.